Season Nine, Week Eight: Final Four Performances

We wrap up the lamest season ever of So You Think You Can Dance with a mostly boring assortment of lackluster dances. For the first time in the history of this show, I really couldn't care less who wins and can't wait for the season to be over.

Eliana and Cyrus (Paso Doble by Jason Gilkison)



Well that was an uneventful way to start off the final performance episode. The paso doble plays to Cyrus's strengths, in that the footwork isn't too complicated and it is meant to display not much more than strength. Cyrus's performance was spot on in that respect. He's still doing very basic things incorrectly, like turning on his heels rather than his toes and not straightening his legs. Other than that he did just fine with a routine that looked pretty simple to me. Eliana was fine as well, but nothing too exciting.

Tiffany and Will (Jazz by Sonya Tayeh)



So far, this episode is extremely underwhelming. There wasn't much to this piece; it was a display of technique without a story or all that much emotion behind it. There's nothing really to get behind as a routine, though Tiffany did dance the piece exceptionally. She has strong jazz technique, but we already knew that: her technique is what got her on the show in the first place. She's not a "personality" like Cyrus, she's a strong dancer. For the finale, I want to see more than that.

Eliana and Chehon (Ballet by Some Russian Guy Whose Name They Didn't Display)



I'm sorry, but how the hell is Chehon a ballerino? His partnering was not strong. Even just having to plant his feet and support Eliana, he was shaky; look at his feet shuffling! Use those huge thigh muscles and PLANT. YO. FEET. BITCH. Anyway, this was a boring pas de deux; it didn't have the flashy choreography I would expect them to throw at two trained ballet dancers in a finale (by the way, I'm willing to bet Chehon was put through by the producers to feature this piece). I wanted to be floored and just wasn't. Eliana was lovely and elegant, but the whole thing felt cold.

Tiffany and Cyrus (Lyrical Hip Hop by Tessandra Chavez)



I'll give both of them this: they performed the hell out of this routine. It went a little over the top into melodrama, but I'd rather see that than see dead faces. I don't think Tiffany and Cyrus are a very good match; just look at the moments when they were supposed to be in sync and weren't. The choreography was decent, though it doesn't compare to Tessandra Chavez's domestic abuse routine with Lauren from season seven. But they were committed, regardless, and they brought a level of energy to the routine that had been sorely lacking up to this point of the show.

Group Performance (Choreographed by Tyce Diorio)



You can see the weakness of Cyrus as a partner in the synchronized lift: Chehon gave Eliana almost twice the height he gave Tiffany. I don't mean for this to be crucify Cyrus night, but he sticks out like a sore thumb. I'm not particularly taken with any of the dancers in the top four, but he STILL sticks out as the weakest. And this routine was just stupid. Tyce played to everyone's strengths, and that's just not interesting to watch because everyone was doing their own thing... and when they weren't, it was painfully pedestrian.

Chehon and Allison (Contemporary by Stacey Tookey)



Stacey Tookey has this great ability to make people look better in her routines than they have before or do after; just look at Eliana in her piece with Alex Wong. Chehon hasn't looked this good all season, and it was easily his strongest performance. He was powerful and loose, and it was great to see. The choreography reminded me a lot of Stacey's "Jar of Hearts" but executed better. And seriously, Allison just keeps proving that she's the best female contemporary dancer this show has ever had.

Eliana and Tiffany (Jazz by Ray Leeper)



If I have to see one more friggin' routine on this show choreographed to a song from Chicago, I'm gonna gouge my eyes out. Seriously... there are thousands of musicals out there, expand your horizons! We don't need a Chicago routine every season! Now that I've gotten that out... I'm not gonna lie, some of the pole work was really good, particuarly the last moments from Eliana. But a lot of the choreography was also pretty trashy: splits, vaginas all in the air and in your face, squatting. And it also felt constrained at times too when they didn't move beyond that four foot little platform for half the performance.

Cyrus and Chehon (Contemporary by Sonya Tayeh)



 Oh, who cares anymore? Cyrus, learn to use your torso... he only dances with his extremities, like he'll break if he contracts his back. Seriously, look at this dance; he never moves his torso, it's always stiff. The choreography was directly reminiscent of Sonya's finale piece last year for Sasha and Melanie. It was typical jerky Sonya and nothing new or exciting. Is it almost over yet?

Eliana and Alex (Contemporary by Travis Wall)



This episode is so boring partially because everything is jazz and contemporary. No matter how wonderful the choreography, you wanna see something different. This was a beautiful routine, but its best moments were repeats of previous numbers Travis has choreographed (most notably the ones for Jeanine and Jason in season five and Robert and Allison in season seven). It's always great to see Alex dance, and he and Eliana are a perfect match. But it just feels like more of the same... and Nigel is so full of shit every time he opens his mouth. Every episode he says Allison is his favorite dancer ever to be on the show, now all of a sudden its Eliana? Didn't he say the same thing about Melanie last year? Whatever.

Tiffany and Chehon (Rumba by Dmitry Chaplin)



Now, this wasn't much of a rumba. It was kind of a rumba, Viennese waltz, contemporary mish mash. I liked it though. It was sultry and very pretty, and I loved the music choice. The chemistry wasn't totally great, but it was good enough to get the point across. That may be the choreography's fault, however, considering how much time they spent apart (which was odd, considering its a Latin dance). Sometimes I wish I could be inside the heads of the SYTYCD staff though, because everytime there's a rumba someone in wardrobe says, "She must wear an open-backed dress. MUST!"

Cyrus and Twitch (Hip Hop by Christopher Scott)



I'M OVER IT. How many times can Cyrus dance hip hop?! That's twice in ONE. NIGHT. Who gives a shit what I have to say? He's gonna win.